Undoubtedly, God can arrange a time and place for you to meet His choice of a mate any way He chooses. It could be an accidental encounter or a calculated search. He might do it alone or He might use your help. He can’t be put in a box because He works “in strange and mysterious ways,” (Isaiah 45:15 NLT). But regardless of how God works out your romantic future, the most important thing is this: He has to be the One working it out, and you have to have His approval before proceeding into marriage with anyone (be sure to read yesterday’s article).

In my case, God decided to use my help, much to my surprise. At that time I thought it was wrong to for me to search or arrange opportunities for myself to meet men—I thought I was getting ahead of Him just by looking. Guiltily, I was surfing a prominent Christian singles site (I felt really desperate trying it out!) for a free trial period when I met this one-in-a-million guy who also happened to be using up his 7-day free trial. God has such a sense of humor—our priceless match was totally free. God used this situation to show me that I didn’t have Him all figured out after all, and that He can use any means He chooses to bring people together. We proceeded (cautiously and prayerfully) into an amazing love story that only God could have orchestrated.

Below are some great resources and web sites that you might find helpful for opening up opportunities. Remember, as always, you should seek out God’s specific and personal will for your life before proceeding, in case He has other plans for you. If you feel Him telling you to wait or hold back, listen. If not, seek opportunities, proceed cautiously, and always consult Him in everything you do.

Some Christian Dating Sites:
E-Harmony (www.eharmony.com). Thorough compatibility profile has 436 questions with “29 dimensions of compatibility” including spiritual, political, moral, intellect, sense of humor. Site offers advice, articles, testimonies, and a bookstore (all books by Neil Clark Warren). Free 7 day trial period. Membership price ranges from $59.95 per month to $20.95 per month depending on length of membership.

Singles of Faith (www.singlesoffaith.com). This site has a unique feature. 700 churches in 700 cities partner with thousands of singles every month for ministry/service in the inner cities.

Christian Café (www.christiancafe.com) a.k.a. “Where Christians Meet.” 10 day free trial period. Membership ranges from $24.95 for two weeks to $99.95 for a year.

Christian Singles Cruises/travel groups
All Christian Cruises (www.allchristiancruises.com) Visit places like Bermuda, Alaska, Bahamas, and the Caribbean on 4-8 day cruises. Prices start at $359-$2,400 (tips not included) depending on destination, length of time, and occupancy. Roommate matching service is available. Includes social events, shore excursions, speakers, worship music/bands, and comedians.

Singles Mission Trips
Singles of Faith (www.singlesoffaith.com). Every 3rd Saturday, singles in 700 cities nationwide join in ministry to rebuild city blocks, clean up ravaged neighborhoods, feed the hungry, clothe the homeless, visit hospitals, rest homes and prisons, and tutor the illiterate.

Christian Medical & Dental Associations

Christian Singles Conferences & Retreats

Christian Singles Info/Resource Sites:
Christian Singles Directory (www.singlesdirectory.org/index.html)

WWJD Singles (www.wwjdsingles.com)

Single Christians (www.singlechristians.org)

Cybergrace Christian Network (www.cybergrace.com)

Copyright © 2006 Julie Ferwerda, Used with permission.
Read more from Julie at julieferwerda.com

Do agree upon expenses from the beginning. If long distance, let the person with the greatest financial resources do most of the calling and pay the travel expenses (if similar incomes, split costs evenly). Use free cell phone hours, and email as much as possible to keep the costs down.

Don’t fall for a man or woman who insists, “God told me you are “the one.” If that’s really true, God should be able to clue you in, too, without their help.

Do meet the first few times in a public place or with friends or family—not including your kids. Even when you get to know them, limit alone time.

Don’t even consider a man/woman who pushes you for sex before marriage (and don’t be the one to push). Sex is a huge litmus test of a person’s commitment to obeying God in everything.

Do background checks before meeting. Anyone who is honest and has good intentions shouldn’t feel insulted about being checked up on. They should be happy to know you are wise and cautious enough to care about your safety. Call pastors, employers, or other ministry leaders who have direct contact with the new acquaintance. Research your own contact information such as telephone numbers of churches and employers from the internet phone directories. Ask references thorough questions about character, church involvement, and even known weaknesses. Don’t settle for friends or family references—they could be anyone.

Don’t spend so much time cyber-dating that you neglect your kids (or job). Email or talk after the kids go to bed (or after work). You’ll greatly regret pushing your kids aside later. Be there emotionally for your kids—they need you.

Do represent the real you. You don’t want someone to accept a you who doesn’t exist. If you’re going to have any chance of a future (with the right person) they need to know who they are agreeing to love. Anything less will breed distrust and likely the end of the relationship.

Don’t let the relationship become romantic in nature until you both know without a doubt through prayer, godly counsel, and adequate time together that God is leading you toward marriage. Otherwise, keep it a friendship only!