| Author Julie Ferwerda identifies warning signs that could indicate big trouble in your relationship.
1. You invite them to church—like every week—and they always have a great (and believable) “reason” for not going: “My pillow needs me…I have to wash my hair…I have to study for my P.E. test…my parents want me to go grocery shopping with them…I have to get ready for work tomorrow…” You get the idea.
2. As far as they are concerned, parents (and authority figures) fit into the same category as the furniture in granny’s house: old and outdated.
3. If their *bleep conversations were *bleeping turned into a *bleep prime time *bleep television show suitable for *bleep young listeners, you’d *bleeping hear a lot of bleeping going on.
4. Their idea of getting to know you goes something like this: “Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?”
5. The grass across the fence must look greener because they sure seem to notice every attractive thing that goes by. They might even think wandering into other pastures to “enjoy the grass” is acceptable.
6. When they talk about God, it usually precedes a four letter word. You rarely (or never) catch them talking to God or reading a Bible on their own.
7. They would rather eat a Fear Factor “dinner” than have to hang out and eat one with your family.
8. They think try-before-you-buy is the only way to “be sure” you are sexually compatible as a couple. In fact, they “test drove” the last person(s) they dated.
9. Telling you the truth is relative—it works when it’s convenient for them and can be twisted a little bit here and there when needed.
10. “Sorry” is a game they played as a kid and they haven’t used the word much since (if any).
11. Watching the way they spend money, you have figured out where the expression “sugar daddy” comes from.
12. Human Velcro comes to mind when you notice you can’t even spend an evening apart without phone calls, text messages, or them showing up where you tell them you’re going to be.
13. They have a constant need for speed. In their world, sitting around talking, reading, taking in a sunset, or relaxing is for boring nerds.
14. Reading the Bible, praying, or going to church together are always your idea. They may say “yes” to get along for now, but it wasn’t their idea and they’re not really into it.
15. They sometimes use intimidation, anger, or punishing tactics (like the silent treatment) to get what they want from you.
16. They are sarcastic, mean, or disrespectful to their family members or they talk about them negatively around others.
17. Their idea of a good time involves using some form of chemicals. They don’t know how to just get high on life.
18. They think it’s fun, entertaining and powerful to make fun of people or teachers.
19. They can’t handle any kind of constructive criticism from you, others, or God. They are their own boss and don’t care what anyone else thinks.
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Boundaries in Dating: Making Dating Work (Paperback)
- Henry Cloud
List Price: $12.99
Our Price: $9.70 |
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Feeling guilty???…don’t know how to end it because you feel bad about hurting someone? Next time you are tempted to get into a relationship just to have someone around or just because they asked you out (instead of getting to know them first and finding out if they are someone worth dating by God’s standards), remember how bad you felt having to dump someone just because you got involved with them too soon.
Next time wait to date until you know they are someone worth investing time and emotional energy on.
Copyright © 2006 Julie Ferwerda, Used with permission.
Read more from Julie at julieferwerda.com
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